Hell Bends Backwards
by Balloon Animal
Summary: Murdoc has passed on, bitten the dust, kicked the bucket. Yet they still can't get rid of the bastard! In an attempt to set things right the Gorillaz uncover a secret that will rock the foundations of the earth.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone! I'd like to introduce you to the beginning of my new fanfiction. I originally intended on posting it on the 6th of June since it's a special date and it's also the day I intended Murdoc to die. Not that I want him to die on his birthday, I just think it would be fitting since he was born on the 6th of the 6th 1966, bless his soul. But this is just an intro chapter to get the ball rolling and I'll make sure I post the next chapter on that day. You know what, I really shouldn't be writing fanfiction. I have so much work to do it's not funny. Does anyone want to write my analysis of constructions of gender and sexuality within romance literature for me? Anyone? No? dust? No, dust? Anyone, dust?

I should warn you peeps that this story probably will have a 2D/Murdoc pairing. But whyyyyy? You ask? Well, you'll find out why it's necessary. If I'm not slack and actually write this story all the way through. Boo yah!

I do not own Gorillaz…yet.

Enjoy!

Hell Bends Backwards

Chapter 1

A Grave Mistake

Murdoc sat in a cramped windowless office with his boot clad feet resting upon the desk before him, effectively scattering the meticulously arranged documents that had sat there. He sniffed loudly as he let his gaze draw across the religious posters that plastered the walls. He always found these spiritual people to be unbearably pompous. He eventually turned his attention back towards the angel sitting across from him who was eying him off warily.

"I do deeply regret your passing away." Murdoc noted the insincerity in his voice. "But I suppose death must go on mustn't it?" The angle chuckled to himself but quickly extinguished the laugh with a cough when the unsavory man at the opposite end of the desk failed to join in on the joke.

"Listen mate, I'd like to get this over and done with if you don't mind?'

"Er… right." The angel pushed his glassed back up his nose and leafed through the documents in his hand. His eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline when he read the name of the man before him. He had to take his glasses off and polish them with his shirt before he took another look. This guy had _really_ let himself go.

"You don't mind if I smoke do you?"

"Well actually…" the angel began, eyeing the non smoking sign that was clearly displayed on the front of his desk.

"That," Murdoc pulled a cigarette from his front pocket and lit it with one flick of the lighter "was a rhetorical question

"My goodness me, I do apologize. I wasn't aware of whom I was speaking to." How bowed his head as a sign of respect still not quite believing who he was dealing with. But then again, the documents sent down from head office had never been wrong before, had they?

"So you're saying you'll treat any poor bastard with contempt unless he has an ounce of fame to his name?"

"Er, uh… well you see…"Stuttered the angel wiping away the sheen of sweat that had accumulated on his brow.

"Sa'll right mate" Chuckled Murdoc as he crossed his arms, "So would I."

The angel was struck dumb; he'd never dealt with such maleficent character of this stature before. He decided that it would be best to ask the mandatory questions as quickly as possible so that this man could be handled by the higher authorities.

"So er, I see you have quite a reputation with Vatican." He looked over his glasses daring to give a challenging stare.

Murdoc leaned back in his chair and rested his hands behind his head, he grinned exposing a set of jagged yellow teeth. After the life that he'd lived you would expect some notoriety. "Hmm, I guess I have haven't I? Wasn't easy though, I couldn't tell you the amount of virgins I had to go through."

"Uh huh…" He swallowed and pushed on. "It says here that you've inspired countless millions across the world…"

"Have I now?" He scratched his unshaven chin as he reflected on his wicked deeds. He growled in delight as he remembered a few _particularly _devious ones. "I s'ppose that just goes with the game y'know. You can't be great unless you have several million people unquestionably worshiping you."

"I suppose…" He rubbed the ink of the paper he was holding just to make sure that the name on it was perfectly correct. If this really was the person the documents said he was than he was than he was a monkey's uncle. Thank you Darwin. "I'm looking at your sin records. I must say, they really are outstanding." Truth be told the angel had no idea why his sin tally was so low considering the man had committed at least five since being in this room.

"Outstanding ay? Well I do try." He chortled with the lungs of a chain smoker.

"Yes well, if everything here is correct" The angel gave Murdoc a surreptitious glance, "then you'll be going to one of the highest levels we can offer."

Murdoc rubbed his hands together in delight. He knew he had dedicated his entire life to sin and debauchery and spared no effort in condemning himself. But the highest level of hell! Well you don't sign your soul away to Satan expecting second best do you? He couldn't wait to get out of this assigning room and rest for eternity in the depths of hell. He was sure he'd gained himself a prime piece of real estate.

The angel shuffled the documents and placed them back its folder. He looked at the name one last time and heaved an almighty sigh. He knew something was up, but he also knew it wasn't his job to question it. As he pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes shut he began to regret flunking seraph school. Maybe if he hadn't he wouldn't have been forced to become a lowly soul coordinator. Who knows, maybe he could have been a gatekeeper like that goody two shoes St. Peter. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned his attention back to his malodorous client. "Alright well it looks like it's time to send you off."

"It's about bloody time!" Murdoc stood up, brushed off his pants and extinguished his cigarette on the polished mahogany desk causing the angel's eye to twitch.

"_Ahem_, if you just stand in the corner over there I can switch the designation beam on"

Murdoc sauntered over to the corner which had a large silver 'X' marked on the ground. Finally he would be where he belonged. He used this time to reflect on the life he had lived. Nothing but sex, drinking rock and roll, gluttony and sloth. He couldn't have asked for anything more fulfilling.

"Please keep your arms and legs inside the beam at all times, you may feel some slight indescribable agony."

Murdoc rolled his eyes at the regurgitated safety procedure that he was certain the angel must have said a thousand times before. He tapped his foot impatiently and crossed his arms. The angel seemed to get the message because he stopped talking and walked towards the large red lever that was sticking out of the ground.

"I hope you enjoy your trip father John Paul. God bless you." He pulled the lever.

"Wait! What did you call me? I'm not the po…." But it was too late. Murdoc was surrounded by a blinding light as he watched his surroundings evaporate before him. _Jesus Christ_ he thought as he was hurtled towards an unexpected eternity in paradise.

_Jesus fucking Christ_


	2. Dead? Are you sure?

And out of the darkness of time comes a new chapter. You know, completing a degree takes a lot more time than I thought it would. I also need a lot of time the play the Movies and the Sims. Essential stuff.

* * *

2D held his coat close to his body as the rain pelted his body. The weather had become unusually cold for June. He felt that it did justice in reflecting his emotions as he gazed down at the stony pit where the coffin lay. Russel stood by his side with a hand on his shoulder. His opaque eyes were also fixed on the timber box where their now deceased bassist lay. The large drummer wore a black suit that was currently being drenched by the onslaught of water, but the giant was impervious to the elements as he stood firm as a stone. Noodle was also there, adorned with a black umbrella that was miraculously able to keep her bone dry. Her eyes were squinted with concentration, as though she were trying to solve a difficult problem.

"So er, d'you think one of us should say sumfin? Like how great a bloke he was n'stuff like that?"

Noodle looked up startled; 2D's voice had broken her focus. She gave the man a melancholy smile and gave a slight nod of the head. "You may say something if you feel it is necessary 2D san."

2D hesitated not realising that he would be the one giving the eulogy. He cleared his throat and stepped forward wringing his hands in anxiety. He never was the best at speeches. "Right well…um…Murdoc was a good man. No, wait, I guess I wouldn't say a good man. But he definitely was a man!"

Russel and Noodle exchanged looks.

"But in a way aren't we all men? Well, except for ladies I suppose… um." He swallowed knowing this wasn't going well. He took a deep breath and began again, this time he'd try to speak from the heart. "Murdoc swore a lot, and drank too much and may have been a right bit rotten at times, and I dun think he showered too often either… err, sorry, where was I goin' with this?"

"2D, maybe you should talk more about what Murdoc gave to us rather than who he was." Interjected Noodle, as she nodded her head helpfully.

"Right. Well um, Murdoc did a lot of things that may not have helped many people, like running me over with his car and burning down that nunnery. But if you think about it, something good always came out of it. Like me y'know. I dun think I would've been as popular or famous without him, an he always said that Gorillaz was his vision, he even tried to blind me just to prove it." A painful lump began to develop in his throat, 2D was feeling far more emotional than he had expected. He swallowed again and continued, aware of Noodle's and Russel's attentive gaze.

"Even though he did some horrible stuff and said a fair bit of things that got us all in trouble, I still liked him. And I'm sure loads of other people did too. And I know he went out the way he always wanted to - having drunken sex with identical triplets on his birthday. I'm sure he's in a better place now."

He finished with a bow of the head. Russel walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder. "That was beautiful man." They all went quiet and looked at the grave. Each of them remembering the good times and the multiple bad ones they shared with Murdoc over the years.

A crack of thunder broke the sombre reflection. Russel grabbed the shovel and began to fill the hole with soil. They had all discussed the best location for Murdoc's resting place and had unanimously agreed that it should be in sight of Kong studios, feeling that that since he had watched over it like a hawk when he was alive he would surely want to do it in the afterlife. They had sought out the least garbage covered mound and respectfully ornamented it with satanic objects and symbols such as pentagrams and goat heads. They sure were going to miss the bastard.

Before long Russel had placed the last shovel of soil on the hole and patted it down. The large headstone at the top of the grave was craftily plastered with Motorola advertising. Dead or not he still had a contract to fulfil.

2D looked at the grave but never let his eyes properly focus on it. A painful sinking feeling was growing in the pit of his stomach. He just didn't know how he'd cope without Murdoc now that he was gone. The man had always seemed indestructible, unyielding to words or substances. 2D had often admired him for these qualities even if they caused him to occasionally be a downright bastard.

A shadow was cast over him and looked up to see that Russel had approached him with a concerned expression.

"Hey man, we've all been here for a while now. I think we better go inside. It's getting cold. Aight?"

2D hadn't been aware of the temperature until it was pointed out to him. And now he suddenly felt the chill creep right into the marrow of his bones. He shivered and nodded to the drummer before turning his back and headed down the hill towards the studios. His pace was slow and eventually he was over taken by Russel and Noodle. It left him alone to have a little time for his thoughts. He looked over his shoulder and half expected to see Murdoc waiting there for him, ready to slap him silly for old times sake.

The hill was empty and bitter. He turned his head around with a frown and tried to consol himself.

"Hey, I know Murdoc." He said with a chuckle. "He's probably having a great time now

* * *

2D lay on his bed staring up at the cracking ceiling. The pain of Murdoc's loss had subsided but still remained as a dull ache in his chest. He rolled to his side, restless and sad. He wondered about the future of Gorillaz. Would they still be the same without the unsavoury bass player to lead the way? Could they manage without that force? The force that would damn well kick his way through a crowd of orphans with a knife between his teeth if it meant a chance of success? These were the difficult questions that 2D knew the band would have to confront eventually. For now though, all they could do was rest for a time and let the grief wear away little by little.

As he lay there for a while longer he suddenly realised how eerily quiet it was. Usually at this time of day Murdoc had his beat box turned up to the highest setting, blaring nothing but black metal for hours on end. But now there was nothing. Not a peep wafted in from the car park and it unnerved 2D. He sat up and stretched his limbs, feeling the blood rush back into them. He had to do something to destroy this suffocating silence. He felt that it left him with nothing but his own thoughts and that led to nothing but trouble.

He shuffled over to the large organ over at the end of his room. He rarely ever played it despite the amount he had paid for it. But right now he felt it was the perfect instrument to reflect his inner world. He dusted the keys off and sat down; he rested his fingers on the notes but didn't yet play anything. He closed his eyes in thought mulling over the choices of songs he could play. Eventually he decided to simply play whatever came to his mind, thinking an original composition would be a great way to distract his troubled mind.

As he pressed down on the keys and played the first chord, the room rumbled with the reverberation. The song began slow and melancholy at first. 2D closed his eyes and let himself be drawn into the music. It was as if his fingers were independent of his control and knew exactly where to be placed. The danced and glided across the keys and soon the music increased in tempo, rising and falling like waves on the ocean. It was soothing and adsorbing, it was a story trying to be told, and only 2D had the power to tell it. Just before he reached the crescendo he felt a strong breeze blow across the back of his neck. He stopped playing and turned around to see what had caused it.

"That's weird…"

He door was swinging open, creaking back and forth as a draught blew in from the car park. 2D knew that he had closed it, and no strength of breeze had ever opened it before. He stood up and walked over to peer outside his room. The car park was as cold and empty as usual. The Winnebago still sat where it had always, although now it seemed to frighten 2D a little. No one had yet entered it or moved it out of respect for Murdoc. But without the Satanist it just seemed so much more ominous, like a haunted house.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

His voice echoed across the concrete. He shivered and closed his door shut deciding not to think too much about it. He mustn't have closed his door properly the first time. He walked back over to the organ, but when he began playing again he found that he simply couldn't continue the song he was playing before. He compared it to holding a beam of light, he had held it briefly and now it was gone. He sat discontent with himself. But the silence was creeping back again so he just decided to play anything to keep it at bay. Eventually he decided to play The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. He let the upbeat tune wash his thoughts away, although he did decide that the organ made the song a little too dramatic.

"I've just kicked the bucket and that's what you play? You insensitive sod."

2D froze, all the hairs on his body had risen, from the base of his spine the top of his pointy blue head. It couldn't be? How could it possibly be!?

He slowly turned his head around with dread and curiosity. There, sitting on his bed, was none other than Murdoc Niccals, although he was dressed unusually, with a white robe and a funny pointy white hat.

2D's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fainted dramatically, landing on the organ behind him. The sound was loud enough to resound throughout every corner of Kong studios.


	3. The Contract

Okay, another chapter. I still have an essay to write by I thought I'd rather do this instead. I'm really going to go far in life. Enjoy!

* * *

2D awoke to the sensation of water being flicked across his face. He groaned and used his elbows to position himself upright. He looked up to see two bloodshot eyes staring straight back at him.

"Ahhh!" He screamed nearly passing out again at the shock.

"Christ dullard, don't lose it again. It's not like I have a limitless supply of holy water."

2D saw that the man kneeling over him had a golden chalice in one hand which appeared to be nearly empty. His mind was still in too much of a cloudy daze to fully comprehend what he was seeing. The man indeed appeared to be the late Murdoc Niccals, however he was different somehow. He was wearing strange white clothes and was looking somewhat… cleaner. 2D scooted backwards and pointed a trembling finger at the man.

"This is a dream! It has to be! I mean… you're supposed to be dead aren't you? You're lookin' pretty good for a dead person."

"Oh yeah" Murdoc said scratching his nose. He sat himself back down on the edge of 2D's bed. "I was dead, but I'm better now."

"Oh…well um… that's great?'

"Of course I'm dead you moron!" Yelled Murdoc throwing a pillow at 2D's face. "Don't you know a divine vision when you see one?"

"Divine vision?" Repeated 2D not quite grasping what Murdoc was telling him.

"I'm a holy vision sent down from the heavens to show you the path to salvation and enlightenment. Jesus! Honestly, would you like me to give you a PowerPoint presentation?" Murdoc gave an almighty sigh and adjusted his hat. "Well, actually, that's just what I told Vatican faculty to give me a chance to get down here. Some wanker screwed up some soul records or whatever, thought I was Pope John Paul. So now I'm a fucking pope stuck up in goody two shoes land."

"W-wait" Stuttered 2D who still hadn't recovered from the sudden appearance of a man who he had seen dead a mere three days ago. "You're a pope? I never knew that. Oh, and you really shouldn't bother trying to convert me. I'm Buddhist y'know."

"I'm not a pope!" Cried Murdoc in frustration. "And that's not why I'm here! I wouldn't give a rat if you were a kitten eating occultist." He leaned closer to 2D and pointed a bony finger at him. 2D noted that his fingers were now nicely manicured. "I came to visit _you _for a very specific reason…" After this cryptic statement he proceeded to produce a cigarette from out of his robes and flicked it alight with a snap of his fingers.

There was a long pause where Murdoc just sat and smoked on 2D's bed. 2D wasn't entirely sure what to do in a situation like this. Perhaps this was all a hallucination brought on by overwhelming grief - albeit a very, very vivid hallucination.

"You know there's a non smoking policy up in heaven. It's goddam hell."

"If what you're saying is true, you're not being very professional."

"Shaddup!"

2D used this moment to fully observe Murdoc and determine whether it was just a realistic hallucination. He had never in his life seen him look so healthy and radiant. It was as though his very skin was giving off light which gave him a very regal aura. His clothes were so white they were beginning to hurt 2D's eyes if he looked at them for too long. He didn't want to say it to Murdoc, but dying seemed to have been one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

"You know," began Murdoc as he flicked away the last of the ashes, "it's not all a total pile of a festering compost circumstance. I do get a few cool tricks that come with the job. Check this out!"

He held out the chalice he had used earlier at an arms length. He then flicked the tip of the cup with the confidence of a magician, and to 2D's amazement it suddenly filled with a swirling crimson liquid.

"Finest wine in all of eternity." He raised the cup and drained the contents in one swallow before throwing the empty vessel over his shoulder. "Still prefer beer though." He added as an afterthought and belched loudly.

"Poor Pope John Paul must've been surprised about where he ended up."

"Oh, yes, _poor _John Paul. Let's all feel sorry for the pope." Said Murdoc sarcastically. "Just for that I'm going to use my pope powers on you."

He waved his arm in a circular motion at 2D. 2D immediately felt a strange burning sensation on the palms of his hands. He looked at them and was horrified to discover that they were both bleeding profusely.

"Ahh!" He screamed. "Murdoc! What is this?"

"That lovely bit of work is stigmata and one of my personal favourite abilities if I do say so myself. Oh stop screaming you pansy, honestly! Y'know that's a rare phenomenon? Some people would kill just to have the privilege, so be grateful!"

2D held his hands out and had his eyes closed shut so he didn't have to look at them. He never was very strong around the sight of blood. It had begun to dribble down his arms and drip onto the carpet. "Fix it!" He whimpered.

"Fine! Jesus you're such a baby."

2D felt that Murdoc was enjoying himself a little too much, but true to his word the bleeding did stop, leaving only a tingling sensation and dried blood as evidence of what had happened. 2D rubbed his palms and hoped that Murdoc didn't have any more horrible tricks up his sleeve. He cast him an angry glare.

"Is that why you visited me issit? To torment me like you always do?"

Murdoc chuckled darkly. "Oh, no. Don't think that I want to spend anymore time with you than I have to. But I need someway to get myself out of this god awful situation, and I believe that you're just about the only person who can help me do it." He gave 2D another toothy grin.

"Wot? Why am I so special?"

"Hmm?" Murdoc scratched his chin deciding how to answer this question. "Listen, maybe it would be better if I show you why." He stood to his feet and walked to 2D's door. He curled his finger indicating that 2D should follow. However, when 2D remained sitting on the floor he growled with annoyance and raised his hand. "Listen mate, I suggest you follow right now unless you like bloody hands. And I may not be so generous to stop it next time."

With a speed 2D never thought possible of himself he leapt to his feet and burst through his bedroom door. Murdoc strode across the carpark straight towards his Winnebago. 2D walked along side him in puzzlement. He had no idea what use Murdoc could possibly have for him, but he couldn't help but get a bad feeling about it.

"Right" said Murdoc as he pushed the Winnebago door open. "If you'll just follow me this way."

2D was anxious about entering the Winnebago. It still seemed a forbidden area since Murdoc's death, despite having the ghostly apparition of Murdoc walking right beside him when he walked in. It was as dank and dirty as it had ever been, with a faint odour of cigarettes, weed and shoe polish. He ducked his head to avoid a few hanging pine air fresheners. He now realised that Murdoc had a slight transparency to him that hadn't noticed while they were in 2D's room. He wondered if he tried to touch Murdoc his hand would go straight through. Although he remembered now that Murdoc was solid enough to open a door.

"Over here." Murdoc beckoned. He was pointing to the small chest of drawers that sat next to his bed. 2D walked over timidly, he wasn't entirely sure what Murdoc wanted him to do. Murdoc rolled his eyes when 2D hesitated. "Open the top drawer you imbecile. It's not sodding brain surgery! I sometimes wonder if you had to be taught how to breathe."

2D did as Murdoc asked and slowly opened the top drawer. What potential horrors did it contain and how could it help Murdoc? But the question 2D was especially asking himself was what did he have to do with it? He closed his eyes not sure if wanted to see, but curiosity overcame him and he cracked an eye open.

He was half disappointed to find there was nothing of particular interest in there. It just seemed to be a bunch of rubbish. He saw stray cans and bottles mixed up with random bits of paper. He looked back at Murdoc with confusion. Murdoc just sighed and pointed to a piece of paper that was sitting at the top.

"There, that piece of paper. Read it to me."

"Oh" 2D picked it up and looked over it. He raised an eyebrow. "This is just an old menu for Indian takeout?"

"Turn it over you idiot."

2D turned over the yellow stained paper and look at the scrawling handwriting on the back, he began to read it out, but in the depths of his heart he felt that he already knew what was written down.

"I, Stuart Pot, do hereby forfeit the ownership of my eternal soul to Murdoc Niccals, the future omnipotent master and ruler of the world. This contract is binding and unbreakable." And when 2D looked closer he found that at the bottom was his unmistakeable signature.

2D stood frozen, the blood draining from his face. Murdoc, on the other hand, looked positively elated.

"So you see face-ache, I _own_ you. And I'm going to have to borrow something of yours."

2D backed away, letting the paper he was holding fall to the ground. Murdoc looked positively evil. He didn't even have time to appreciate the irony that Murdoc's vestments were contributing to his menacing appearance. The world began to spin around him and the last thing he saw before everything went pitch black was Murdoc's leering face.

* * *

Russel wasn't sure if relief was an appropriate emotion to be feeling so soon after one of his band member's death. He knew that it was an incredible loss for the entire band, but not having to deal with a reeking, offensive abusive bass player constantly, well, it kind of felt nice.

He chided himself and decided that the true extent of the death hadn't quite hit him yet. He knew that eventually it would sink in the way that snake venom slowly works its way towards your heart. He lumbered towards the kitchen to do the same thing he had always done when his nerves were frayed. Eat.

He was surprised to see when he reached the kitchen that 2D was already sitting there in nothing but his underwear. His feet were resting on top of the table and he seemed to be thoroughly emersed in a Penthouse Magazine.

"Hey man." He said, not really sure what to say in this situation.

"Hey fatso." Came a caustic reply. 2D didn't even seem to bother looking at Russel.

"Excuse me?"

"No need to excuse yourself, flabby."

Russel was shocked. He didn't think he remembered the last time that 2D had been this rude to him. He had a right mind to give him a spectacular right hook. But he calmed himself remembering that this was probably 2D's way of grieving. He knew that 2D had taken Murdoc's death harder than any of other band members.

He was about to ignore 2D and continue with his business before he saw the half eaten steak that sat on the table near the singer's feet.

"Hey D, what's that?" He pointed to the cold lump of meat.

2D looked down his nose at the steak and then looked up at Russel with an incredulous expression. "It's the London Symphony…A steak you git! What, are you telling me that now you're fat _and _blind?"

"D, you've been a vegetarian for sixteen years."

2D sniffed and began to look at a large centrefold. "Yeah, decided it wasn't really floating my boat."

Russel gaped not even believing his ears. He looked at the ashtray which seemed to be clogged with used cigarette butts. "And listen man, you told me you was goin' to quit smoking?"

This seemed to grab 2D's attention more than the steak had. He lowered his magazine and looked straight at Russel with a frown etched across his face. "Now why the fuck would I do that?"

"Well" Russel began suppressing his growing rage. "You said you was worried about what it was doing to your voice. And you was also saying that you worried about what it was doing to your health."

"Oh really? Well then, we'll see about that." 2D stood up from his chair and walked over to one of the kitchen cabinets. He pulled out not one but three cigars making sure that Russel could see what he was doing. He lit them all and sucked on them simultaneously then waited few seconds before exhaling an enormous cloud of black smoke. "Ahh, lovely."

Russel had had enough. He knew that something was very wrong with 2D and decided to go see the only person who could possibly know what was going on with him.

"I sure hope Noodle knows what the hell is goin' on…"


	4. The Man with Two Brains

A new chapter just in time for the new year. Let's hope 2007 is better than the last ay!

* * *

2D felt a severe case of vertigo hit him as he slowly regained consciousness. It came in waves along with a growing feeling of nausea rising from the pit of his stomach. He blinked his eyes open and was immediately disoriented. This wasn't his room? It was dark and humid with a peculiar odour. He looked to his right to find he was in a strange bed with dirty sheets that he was sure hadn't been washed for at least a decade. What was going on?

He was about to heave himself upright before a slender arm moved across his chest. His surprise only grew when he saw that there was not one, but _five _women surrounding him. They all seemed to be asleep but the one nestled right beside him was beginning to stir. Her arm moved again to draw him closer and she yawned loudly. 2D had never felt more awkward. Maybe if he was very careful and very quiet he could get away from this place without them noticing. Tentatively he took the young woman's hand and carefully lifted it off his chest. It wasn't until then that he realised that not only was he completely naked but so were all the women. Blood rushed to his face as his eyes darted desperately trying to locate his pants.

Unfortunately for 2D it seemed that his jeans were located smack bang in the centre of the pile of girls. His only exit was seemingly unreachable. He took a deep breath; he now knew where he was. For some inexplicable reason he was within the confines of Murdoc's pride and joy.

The Winnebago.

He knew that he couldn't wait forever, so ever so slowly he moved his body away from the strange woman's and took a careful step onto the grimy floor. The sheets fell around his waist as he reached to the wall to steady himself. A few empty whisky bottles on the floor clinked together as he accidentally nudged them, and he froze in terror. However, after a few moments it seemed that he hadn't disturbed any of the sleeping women so he continued his slow exodus out of the vehicle.

He thought he was proceeding fairly well until he felt a sharp pinch on his backside. He turned his head around in shock to see that the woman who had been on the bed with him was now quite awake and looking at him with a cheeky grin.

"Where do you think you're going, sexy?"

"Oh, uh…u-um well y'see I'm jus' tryin to find my, uh…"2D stuttered.

"Were you looking for these?" One more of the women had roused was now fingering 2D's pants with a seductive look. Now it seemed that all the women were coming around and were staring up at him with half lidded eyes and mischievous smiles.

"Er, fanks ladies. But er, I've really gotta…"

"Oh!" Remarked a well endowed brunette. "So formal today? You were rather different last night I must say." She raised herself to her knees completely unabashed at her gratuitous nudity. 2D averted his eyes up to the ceiling feeling the blood rush to his face.

All the women began to move around him making sure to press their bodies as much as they could against his bare skin. He felt like he was stuck in a pit of snakes, although, they were rather nice soft snakes. One of them had begun to rake her nails up his leg, sender shivers of sensation rocketing through his body. He groaned and knew that if he waited any longer he may never leave. Trying to ignore the ministrations, he began to wade his way through the gaggle of girls, miraculously managing to pull out his pants.

"Oh Murdoc, leaving so soon?"

2D had reached the doorway and was about to make a hasty exit. "Er, well you see I jus' need to…sorry, what did you call me?"

They all looked at each other and then giggled together. "Murdoc, silly."

"Uh, why are you calling me Murdoc?"

One of the blonde women raised her eyebrows, as if she was deciding whether 2D was serious or not. "Well…you asked us to, last night. And we had to say it _especially _loudly. It's amazing that you can't remember. Perhaps we should remind you…"

They all began to move toward him like a pack of hungry wolves. 2D decided it was a perfect time to make his retreat. He burst his way through the screen door of the Winnebago while clumsily trying to tug his jeans back onto his skinny legs. His mind was so preoccupied with this difficult task that he didn't notice the large mass of muscle and flesh until he ran smack bang into it and tumbled to the ground.

"Aight' 2D. Noodle and I wanna have word wit' you."

"Oh, uh, okay Russel. I didn't see y'there." He finally had pulled his pants back on. But he was still feeling slightly humiliated for being caught in such a compromising position. The women were all peering out from the doorway giggling. He saw Russel squinting at him in disapproval and 2D looked down ashamed. Even though he wasn't even sure he was responsible for arranging any of this.

Russel waited for the other man to get to his feet and brush himself off before making his way away from the dismal car park. He looked at 2D and sighed.

"2D."

"Yeah?"

"Put a shirt on man."

* * *

You learn things every day, which was what 2D was discovering as he sat tied to a chair with two shadowy figures looming over him. It seemed that Kong Studios actually had its own interrogation room.

"Listen man, you've been actin' weird ever since Murdoc died. An' we can understand that you may be upset by it. But you've been way over the line lately. Seriously D! We wanna know why?"

2D blinked in an attempt to get a better look at his assailants, although he found it difficult while staring into a 500 watt lamp. He shuffled uncomfortably, feeling the rope prickle his wrists.

"Did y'really need to tie me up for this?"

The lamp was pushed down by small hands and a young girl emerged from the shadows.

"I admit these seem extreme measures. But I'm afraid Russel insisted."

"I just don't trust him. I get the feeling that something just ain't right."

Noodle appeared far more sympathetic. She walked over to the bound singer and cupped his face in a motherly gesture. "2D, you know that if anything is bothering you can always talk to us." She looked up with eyes closed in thought. "But…I also feel that something is amiss," she turned her gaze to Russel, "perhaps 2D can not be entirely blamed for his actions."

2D shifted in his seat. He was wracking his brains trying to figure out what exactly he had done wrong. He couldn't for the life of him seem to remember anything. He looked at his two band mates with genuine remorse.

"Uh, this may be a bittova silly question, but what did I actually do?"

Russel and Noodle looked at each other in concern and disbelief. The large drummer cleared his throat, pulled a chair out and sat close to 2D so they were at eye level.

"D…yesterday you drank two bottles of Cognac before you took the Geep to the airport and hijacked the personal jet of the Royal family, flew to Denmark, picked up some Danish women before flying back to Essex. That thing is parked outside Kong as we speak!"

"And you were naked too," said Noodle quietly.

"D, are you tellin' me that you can't remember any of that?"

2D squeezed his eyes shut in thought. He hummed and haa'd but eventually looked at his friends and shook his head. "Nup, I dun think I remember that. Are you sure it happened?"

Russel picked up a newspaper that had been sitting on the table and showed it to 2D. On the front page in bold it read 'Crazy Man Nicks Jet' and underneath was an unmistakable image of 2D, very naked, sitting in a passenger jet cockpit with a bottle of cognac in one hand and a woman in the other..

2D frowned. That certainly seemed like something that he would remember. But all he could recall was waking up that morning surrounded by hussies and feeling very ill. He gave Noodle and Russel a defeated shrug. He was feeling increasingly guilty, as though not remembering was somehow deceitful. Fortunately Noodle seemed to understand because she stroked his hair sympathetically.

"2D, can you tell us what the last thing you remember was before this morning?"

"Ah, er, well…" he knotted his brow thinking hard. He knew that something significant had occurred, but it seemed out of his reach, like a word that sits on the tip of your tongue. He looked at the newspaper again. It was definitely him sitting in that jet, but he was smiling in a peculiar way. It was a lopsided grin that gave the illusion he had fangs. He stared at it. It was almost as if he looked like…like…

"MURDOC!" He cried suddenly. The memories were returning to him like a flash flood. But before he uttered another word he shocked his two band members by slumping in his seat. His face made an impressively loud sound as it smacked onto the table before him.

Noodle rushed to his aid, but after a few moments it seemed that 2D was coming round. He sat up in his seat and gave a little shake of the head. He squinted his eyes and groaned.

"Uuurgh, Christ that hurt!"

Russel looked at him in concern. He knew that something was up and he didn't like it. Now when he looked into 2D's eyes something was different. Something inexplicable, something…. Demonic. A new aura was permeating around him.

"Hey man, are… are you takin' drugs?"

2D lifted his head up and snorted. "It's a bit hard to when you're tied to a bloody chair. Why, do you have some? You'd probably have to take whale tranquilisers."

Russel narrowed his eyes and took a step towards 2D with a fist raised. He and 2D never usually had any trouble between them, but as of late it seemed like the singer knew exactly what to say to set the large drummer off. Noodle diffused the situation by quickly interjecting.

"2D, what were you saying about Murdoc?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah… great bloke, be sorely missed. Can't say a bad word about him. Say, I don't want to be naggy maggie but could you, y'know, untie me? I've sort of got things to do."

"Listen man!" Russel raised himself up to his full height. "We don't have time for your bullshit. Do you know how much trouble you're in? Do you? Who do you think has to clean up this mess? I've never seen you behave like this D an I'm getting' sick of it!"

2D looked at him completely unintimidated. "Oh right, the jet. Yeah, it'll blow over. I really think that everyone is overreacting. Y'know Charles was actually a good sport about the whole thing. Even recommended me a few decent places to get some, er, escorts…"

"Why are you suddenly rememberin' this now? You don't see me stealing jets!"

"Well of course you wouldn't steal a jet. With you on it, it wouldn't even get off the ground. You probably couldn't even steal a reinforced freight carrier."

Russel and 2D continued bickering while Noodle watched quietly. Her young, yet perceptive eyes were examining the 2D's sudden change in behaviour. She gently placed her hand on Russel's shaking fist and lowered it.

"Murdoc," she said to 2D.

"What? Are we still on that subject? Seriously love, you need to learn to let go."

"No," she shook her head, "I know that you are not 2D right now. I don't know how or why, but I am sure that you are not supposed to be here."

2D's eyes darted back and forth nervously. Russel raised an eyebrow as Noodle became more serious than ever. 2D cleared his throat and spoke again with a little less confidence than he had before.

"Er, I think you've gone barmy. I don't know what you're talking about but I'm definitely 2D." And added as an afterthought "durrhh."

Russel and Noodle were entirely unconvinced. Russel closed his eyes and made a noise that indicated a difficult problem had been solved. "You know man, I've had a lot of experience with spirits and possession. I've seen it all. An' I have to tell you. You are the least convincing one I've ever met. Do you think we're idiots?"

Murdoc, who of course was using 2D's body as a vessel to house his spirit, hung his head. The jig was up and he knew it. His head shot up and he leered venomously.

"Yeah, well imitating a complete moron is harder than you'd think." He snorted and looked at Russel. "And he's not the only moron. If it wasn't for Noodle you'd still be completely clueless you stupid fat git."

Russel was struggling to control his temper, but he knew that if lost it, it would only result in pounding innocent 2D black and blue. He turned to Noodle for support. Usually in crazy situations like this she was the only one with enough common sense to behave rationally. She put her finger to her chin and began to circle around the bound man.

"Only trouble can come from this Murdoc. You need to leave. We are only given so much time on earth, and I believe yours is up."

2D/Murdoc puffed his chest out defiantly. He wasn't going to be pushed around so easily now that he had found such nice accommodation. "Ha, what are you going to do? Pry me out with a crowbar?"

This threw Noodle. She chewed her bottom lip nervously not really knowing what kind of procedure to undertake to remove the sinister bass player. Murdoc seemed to understand she was stuck because he grinned with 2D's mouth and laughed throatily. It was peculiar to hear 2D's gentle voice used in such a vicious way.

"No, I'm rather enjoying myself here and, pardon my French, there isn't a tossing thing in the world that would want to make me leave-"

Murdoc was stopped short mid sentence. His eyes narrowed and he began to breathe slightly heavier. Russel and Noodle looked at each other not sure what was causing this sudden change. He sat rigid in his chair and emitted such a long groan that Russel wasn't sure if he was in pleasure or pain.

"Uh, man, you okay?"

Murdoc didn't answer immediately. Instead he rested his forehead on the table as though his head was weighing him down. He closed his eyes and began panting.

"Uuurg, Christ! It feels like someone shot me in the brain. I…I can't take it!" Once again 2D's body slumped unconscious, much to Noodle's distress.

"Oh dear," she murmured, feeling 2D's temperature with the back of her hand. Slowly his eyes began to blink open again and he pulled himself upright. He sighed and looked at Noodle with resignation.

"Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. I've got one of me headaches again so I might need t'use me hands soon."

His polite tone was enough for Russel and Noodle to know that 2D was back in the room with them. Russel untied the rope around 2D's wrists and he rubbed them graciously. With shaking hands he felt his pockets and found a little plastic satchel which was filled red and white capsules. He downed two and rubbed his temple with long fingers.

Russel and Noodle knew how bad 2D's migraines were. Without his pain killing medicine it would most likely be a debilitating affliction. They waited in silence for a few minutes while 2D recovered. Russel thought that anyone would get a headache if they had Murdoc living in their head.

"Welcome back D," he said feeling just a tad bit guilty for thinking that the singer was responsible for all those rude remarks.

2D looked at him slightly confused. Noodle realised that quite a bit of explaining would need to be done so she stood to her feet and motioned for the others to follow. "I'll make everyone a cup of tea," she said. "I think you may especially need it, 2D."


End file.
